Faith.

Have you ever come to the point when you have no more interest of what is happening around you? You are unaware of everything because you are too busy mending something important (well to you it might be), all by yourself. You are not being ignorant but you just hate to have to handle two things in a time. Call yourself a multi-tasker but when it comes to emotion and feeling, are you? Are you capable of laughing when your heart is crying? Are you able to cry when you feel like you want to laugh? Can you just sit and do nothing when a mosquito sucks your blood? Are you able to resist your disappointment when you failed in whatever you are doing?

I’ll be glad to meet anyone who can do everything I said in contrast.

Convincing yourself that you can be strong in whatever things that might happen is just like telling the doctors that there’s no need to save a patient. Impossible and ridiculous. How can you be so sure that everything is under control and you don’t have to take things seriously because you think nothing can hurt you emotionally? You believe in yourself because people make you so. You believe that every time you make people laugh when they are about to cry, you are able to handle yourself in the same way. Every time someone needs you when they are down, you make an assumption that the next time you are facing any hardship, you can stand for yourself.

No such hypothesis can be accepted because nothing can prove it right.

I am so surprise to see that I nearly lose my self-confidence. Ask me, how can you lose it? It’s not even something that you put in your pocket. Not even something that you carry around with your hands. How can you possibly lose it? Or even near to losing it? It happens when you try over and over again in making sure that you won’t be doing the same old stupid mistakes. Or when you have tried your best to make sure the same thing won’t happen again. Or when you firstly believed that you can do it and suddenly you failed miserably. Then there will come the crucial moment when it’s time for you to make sure your self-confidence is still in your grip.

Hold your confidence really tight. You never know how does it feel to live without it.

This isn’t a diary to tell you about my weaknesses or my misery or anything. I write because I think it’ll be alright to share about some moments that some people never know, or to share about some feelings that some people might want to feel, or even to share some stories that some people might have been in the same situation. Did I ever mention that you have to give up? No. Never ever give up in anything that you do. How? Never stop relying on Him. Never ever lose hope and try to live forward. Take every single thing as a lesson. Cry to sleep tonight but make sure you wake up with a smile on your face. Never wish for a grin, because a smile is still okay.

Wipe your tears. Hide your fears. In shaa Allah, everything’s going to be alright.

Most importantly, believe in Him. Have faith in Him. Every second. Never ever turn away from Him. He is the only place for you to go when your world is collapsing. He is the only place for you to find when your courage is hiding. He never leaves us. Not even for a second. Trust Him. It is more than enough.

May Allah bless us all. Amiinn.

Take care, everyone. Assalamualaikum J