For You.

Assalamualaikum. I'm going to make it as brief as possible since writing too long will drag the feeling and soon, I will be drowned in my own emotion. If you think my writing is a lil bit harsh, yes I am being harsh. Because writing it emotionally will give me nothing but tears so yes, it'll be hard but you need to listen. And if you ask me why I wrote in English, because writing in Malay will make me feel worse.

First, don't worry about mom and dad Kak Yuni. They are doing just fine here. Since it is my semester break, don't worry about the chores. Before kakak was home, I did it all and I have no problem with that. They were just resting except for some days when ayah wanted to cook something that he knows I won't be able to do it. So never mind, I ironed their clothes, I cleaned the house. It's not as if it's a big matter for me since we started doing that years and years ago. And now, kakak is here. Everything becomes better and fall into place. So you don't have to worry about them. I will never gonna tell you how they feel or what do they think about you, staying miles and miles away from us, because I'm afraid in the end, it's you who are going to feel bad about your days when your emotion starts to act wild, thinking about them. So no. I'm not gonna write about them much because you have to focus there. I don't want you to be unhappy, sad all the time. I don't want you to play with your emotion. Even I do understand, talking about emotion, only one feels about it. Not people from the surrounding. It's our ownselves who feel it. But you have to stay strong. And I am trying my best to help you to keep it that way.

Second, the most thing that I really hate. Don't you ever ever ever try to compare. Comparing gives you nothing, do you know that? I've been comparing myself back then, and you know what did I get? No self-confidence. You are going to lose it. Remember when I told you, we were born with different potentials? We are all in a different league and you can't compare it. He wrote our stories perfectly without any flaws. There are things that I couldn't do to be you. I am lack with something that you have. But that's it. You can't be me. You can't wear my shoes. You can't fit in my jeans. You can't sing with a bad pitch like me. You can't be stupid in Tatabahasa like me right? You can't be as clumsy as abang isn't it? You can't be as pertinacious as kakak when we watch movies right? You don't expect us to have everything in common, don't you? You are special. As special as He thinks you are. As special as mum and dad know their children are. He knows your potential and He knows when is the right time to show it, to unleash it. Believe in Him. Believe in yourself. You are perfect. That's it. Never ever doubt my words.

Yes, harsh isn't it. Why? Because I hate playing with your emotion. I don't want to see another teardrops from your eyes. I hate to hear another coarse voice at the end of the line. Hate me when you read this. I prefer your hatred than your teardrops when you are alone there.

Because I even hate to draw another tears from my eyes. 

Take care Kak Yuni.

Assalamualaikum :)