Have you ever been in a situation where you're imagining things to go this way or that way and you're convinced that things are gonna work the way you want them to be but when you actually try to put it into words (or to tell someone about it), they tell you, "Nope. That's impossible."
Or have you ever been in the situation when you're giving the best of your best advice towards someone who are apparently having the same problems that you're currently facing, and then they tell you that you're the best motivator they've ever seen and then bam! you're not settled with your own problem while your clients just walked away with the new hope that you just gave to them.
Have you? Or haven't you? Or have you been trying to disagree to what I'm saying (either one)?
Let's start this topic with my case (because that's how motivators usually do right? They'll just tell their stories in hope that their clients agree that their motivators are one step ahead of them.) Naah I'm just kidding I'm telling my stories because I don't have any other example. Yet. So, let's start with my case. You see, I haven't been in any cases that drag me to kill myself or jeopardizing my own dignity. But I've been in some cases that to me, had been killing me emotionally, ripping off the joyous side of me, bleaching my confidence and esteem, and I nearly died (emotionally). So I wandered around in this world, telling myself "You're sick" or "You're pathetic" or "You're not worth it". So I've been living in this kind of world that I created just to comfort myself. And I was assured that I was happy to live that way. Until one day I met people who were very kind enough to put their trust on me. So they started telling their problems which I soon discovered "Hey, that's pretty much similar to my case you're talking about!" And they went all miserable and tormented and even depressed, half as much as I did. Then without me realizing it, I gave them something that I never gave to myself. A piece of reality that I chose to ignore.
Guys, we ignore things when we know those are not what we want. Which people who are sane enough to give advices to people and they agree that you're giving them the best kind of advice, but then sooner you realize, you can live a whole lot better if you're following your advices that you just gave away, free of charge? Well, I'm one of those people who are not that sane. I admit that. Not that I'm saying that my words are good. What I'm trying to say is, if I try to follow every single word that I already gave to those people out there, I might be living a better life, maybe better than this. But because of this little piece of 'I-can't-be-helped-so-I-might-as-well-try-to-help-you' feeling, I've ruined my whole life by living in this little and unmotivated world of mine. So how can I become a good motivator to them?
You see, I just found the answer to that. While whatsapping with one of my friends, who seemed to be having a problem, I just did my job. Giving words of wisdom and something that a normal friend usually says. And then I came to think of it. These words I'm saying, are actually the truth and the reality. These are the medicines to all my wounds, scars and bruises. These are the remedies to my bleeding emotions. The reality that I choose to ignore because by admitting to it, I'm finally realizing that my imaginations and my dreams are burning into ashes. These walls that I'm building just to comfort myself will be destroyed if reality takes over. I'm afraid to live in such reality because I'm afraid what I've been wishing for, might not becoming true. That explains why some people are very good in giving advices when their life are shattering.
But then, I choose to stop. Because I've been thinking, for how long I'm gonna live this way? For how long I'm gonna smile to people's happiness and cry to my own stories every night? For how long do I have to sit in front of these people and tell them all kinds of good things that I never even tell myself? And for how long I'm going to pretend that I'm doing fine living in my own imaginations? Because you know what? Imaginations work for those who are imagining, and reality works for those who are imagining it, and working hard to get it. It's okay to have dreams on something that is impossible, as long as you're not hurting yourself by thinking that it's possible. Stay positive. Be happy. Live your life. Have faith in Him. InsyaAllah.
Salam Ramadhan. Assalamualaikum :)
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