Because Leaving Will Make Me Suffer.

Go. Just go everyone.
Pack your things. Take your stuff.
Drag your bags. Walk to the door.
Leave me. Just leave.
I won't stop you.
Never will. Just go.

These tears will never startled you.
And even I wail for a million years, it's empty.
I've watched people come and go for all this while.
So I shouldn't feel anything. I shouldn't and couldn't
But if I have the might to do so.
I'll be on my knee, begging all of you just don't leave.
If.... I have the might.

Why I always have to bear this situation?
If only they knew how hard I've been trying to put it all back to its place.
If only they knew how long I've been reassembling all the feelings that shattered.
If only they knew I really mean everything that I said.
If only they knew how I really plead to seek the forgiveness.
If only..

Crap this thing.
Laughing is the thing I should do right now.
Let's kill the fear then maybe I will be free.
Let's draw these things in the contrast so the lies will always be the truth.
Drown people drown. Drown in all my words.
Kill me. It's more beautiful and artistic.
Better than I kill your feeling. Without I even noticed it.

I think a lot. I've been so fussy.
I've been asking and forcing too much.
I've made mistakes for every single thing that I do.
Pleading is nothing more than just a full-time job for me.
But all I want is for someone, to tell me, they can stay with me,
Even my existence is a burden, and nothing more than just a waste of space.
Who will accept me like how much I want to accept them for the rest of my life.

If convincing is easier than eating McFlurry :')