Random.

I often think about where I went wrong,

The more I do, the less I know.

I know I have a fickle heart,

And a bitterness,

And a wandering eyes,

And a heaviness in my head.

Assalamualaikum readers. It's not 'have been so long' since I posted the latest entry. Well, all that I can say is alhamdulillah until last Thursday, those papers have been good to me. They enlighten the days afterward. I still have 7 more subjects to pursue, which I can say, precisely, 16 papers to go. Then, the title "High School Student" will be taken from me.

I just wanna say, I'm sorry if I've ever make you hurt, destroy your days with my words or attitude, or say stupid things and being childish. Believe me, it's not me. It's completely not me. The examination had bring out my alter ego, split personality. I don't blame the exams. I blame myself for not being rational in solving my problems. My bad.

I'm so sorry for mentioning about the 'care' issue. Maybe you were right. I sounded like I only show my care whenever I feel like I want to. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. All because of me. I'm a childish stupid annoying kid who I never wish to be. If only you could understand the deepest meaning of my word that night. How I wish not to know. Irrational have been my middle name this year. Thank you for reminding me to not to show my 'care' only at my favourite time.

I don't blame you if you hate me now. I know you already have a good life now. And I'm happy with it. It's enough for me to know that you can do better without me all the time. You can. And you will. I'm sorry if all this while, my words often instill your hatred towards me. Let me know when you already read this. I still keep my promise. The veracity of my heart.

All I can say, I'm so sorry.